Monday, May 23, 2011

Smiling Self-Esteem Booster

Ever since I was in kindergarten, I've had incredibly low self-esteem. I spent most of my high school years asking every person I met or knew, "do you hate me?"  This was quickly followed by an, "I'm sorry."  I'm amazed that I even had friends given that I literally didn't know any words beyond those six.  If I could curl myself up like a rollie-pollie, I would've. 

Over the years, I've slowly acquired further reaching verbal skills, poise and self-love.  Externally, I've been on the up and up.  In the back of my mind, however, I've endured a nagging doubt about my worth.  Every social interaction has been peppered with self-doubt and flagellation.  In private, I analyze every part of myself.  Am I a good enough writer?  Does my hair look alright?  How long before everyone finds out I'm a total fraud? 

All that doubt goes away when I see this face:

How could I feel bad about myself when she looks at me like that?  I'm raised up from the mire of self-doubt and become the funniest, most intelligent, beautiful and important human being in the world.


  1. and more seriously, this is one of the amazing things about the survival skills of children - they're complete leeches with nothing on their side but making us love them and take care of them, and it totally works because of things like this.

  2. It really is! It's hard 90% of the time to have to be completely responsible for another human, but the 10% of amazingness completely outweigh the rough times. It makes them feel like nothing.

  3. This was so sweet and it made me teary.

  4. oh man. now im crying in ecuador. it's weird because I already loved Darla without having met her, but now I am actually thankful to her! I have known for years that you are the funniest, most intelligent, beautiful and important human being in the world and i feel eternally grateful to Darla for showing you that too! Just read this again when she is a teenager and is acting the way that we did at that age :/